I've often been accused to choosing to not believe in gods or supernatural phenomena. My general response in a haughty tone is that my mind is NOT that shallow, and that I cannot force myself to believe or not believe in anything, that only the evidence will convince me. Do I stand by this? Maybe. I'm starting to question half of the statement more and more.
I absolutely feel that I cannot force myself to believe something. Whether or not this only applies to me or people like me is another question which I will not delve into at this time. I have been in enough situations in my life to realize that I truly cannot accept things on peoples words. Once upon a time I was quite gullible. Much embarrassment as a result of said gullibility has hardened me into a hardcore skeptic. This has produced both positive and negative results in my life. In one way I am a much more reasonable and rational person when it comes to matters that aren't close to my heart. In another way I am untrusting and tend to test people and things which are close to me. What is clear is that I don't believe things simply because I'd like for them to be true.
On the other hand, upon having a conversation with my best friend the other day, I began to question whether I may choose to NOT believe things. I certainly choose to not believe them until some sort of proof is furnished. Confused? Let me go into more detail.
Most people would consider proof seeing something with their own eyes. Often other atheists say "If God were to appear before me and prove he existed, then I would have no choice but to believe". Other more hardened skeptics, myself included, admit that if God were to appear before them that their first instinct would be that they were having some sort of mental break, a delusion, and would be to seek psychiatric help. By being this skeptical, by holding a preconceived notion that god is not real and cannot exist, am I not setting myself up to reject any evidence that may come my way? True, there are many things that can be proven with evidence that cannot be dreamed up or imagined, but what of the things that cannot? Afterlife, ghosts, deja vu, gods?
Once again my non-belief has led me to questions that I cannot answer, and causes more confusion than clarity when I seek to answer the questions.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
The internet and apathy.
After the rather wrenching realization that I was in fact an atheist and probably had always been, there were a few months of overwhelming anger. It sort of flowed in all directions at all the people that I felt had been pressing their faith onto me from all sides. Quite a bit of it also channeled inward, angry about all the times I felt I had to follow some sort of doctrine, all the times I had tried to convince myself that SOMETHING must be true. Quite a lot at the man who shared my bed for not sharing my new and clear world view. Family relationships became strained, friends disappeared or were cut out of my life. And the internet. Oh the internet. If you have some pent up frustration that needs to be spewed upon someone else, the internet is the place to go my friend.
From reddit to Topix I found numerous places to vent my frustration, to practice presenting the evidence I had so recently allowed myself to accept, and point out the absurdities that streamed from the tongue of any evangelical that dared to witness me. I also learned a lot, and my skepticism bloomed. No longer do I take a person's word at face value, not even a close friend's word. Now I want to pursue the matter further, find out the facts and statistics. Never again do I want to look a fool to anyone, especially to myself. The first year in particular I kept learning new things, especially in regards to Christianity as I picked up my copy of the bible and gave it new importance, maybe more importance than it possessed when I was trying to convince myself that there might be some truth to it. I read books and listened to audiobooks constantly. The next time someone presented a foolish argument, I would be armed.
The first several months of internet debating was fun. I'd often spend hours fighting with someone, learning to maintain my composure as they melted into a fit of rage induced by cognitive dissonance. I learned how to avoid the pitfalls of their logical fallacies, and to stay on point. I learned that I was never going to change their mind, but only hoped to compel another person reading the exchange and maybe plant the seed of doubt in that manner. I also learned what is now eating away at me. I learned that every religious person I will ever argue with will undoubtedly have the same set of bad arguments, and will continuously dismiss mine without the blink of an eye.
No matter how much evidence you give, how many sources you cite, no matter how logically and convincingly you present your facts and point of view, it will fall on deaf ears. It's enough to drive a sane woman crazy, and I was never that sane to begin with. Sure, there are still times I feel the fight in me, and I'll engage someone. Always there reaches a point, unfortunately, where I choose not to continue. I grow tired of presenting the same (though relevant and well thought) arguments only to have them dismissed with the wave of a hand and no second thought or even and attempt to understand them. So now when I run across and argument pertaining to religion or the lack of religion, I spend a few weary seconds considering whether to involve myself, and about 90% of the time I choose instead to metaphorically walk away. Even when boredom strikes and I do choose to get involved, I do so more to take cheap shots and toy with the unsuspecting mouse I've caught in the trap of sophisticated debate. I rarely present real evidence or even a compelling point of view. Why bother? They're never going to change and my arguments have begun to bore even me.
The internet is responsible for the rise in atheism, this I do not doubt. We have far too much access to education to continue to buy the bologna the religious community is selling us. Far too many resources for meeting other atheists. We have a community, we can belong and not be ostracized. However, the same internet that sealed my fate by convincing me of that which I knew all along is also creating the apathy towards spreading logic and reality that has a firm hold on myself and many others like me. What started as the makings of generation of educated and convincing role models has devolved into a generation of trolls. Will the numbers of "nons" continue to rise, or are we doomed to help push society back into the dark ages with our apathy?
From reddit to Topix I found numerous places to vent my frustration, to practice presenting the evidence I had so recently allowed myself to accept, and point out the absurdities that streamed from the tongue of any evangelical that dared to witness me. I also learned a lot, and my skepticism bloomed. No longer do I take a person's word at face value, not even a close friend's word. Now I want to pursue the matter further, find out the facts and statistics. Never again do I want to look a fool to anyone, especially to myself. The first year in particular I kept learning new things, especially in regards to Christianity as I picked up my copy of the bible and gave it new importance, maybe more importance than it possessed when I was trying to convince myself that there might be some truth to it. I read books and listened to audiobooks constantly. The next time someone presented a foolish argument, I would be armed.
The first several months of internet debating was fun. I'd often spend hours fighting with someone, learning to maintain my composure as they melted into a fit of rage induced by cognitive dissonance. I learned how to avoid the pitfalls of their logical fallacies, and to stay on point. I learned that I was never going to change their mind, but only hoped to compel another person reading the exchange and maybe plant the seed of doubt in that manner. I also learned what is now eating away at me. I learned that every religious person I will ever argue with will undoubtedly have the same set of bad arguments, and will continuously dismiss mine without the blink of an eye.
No matter how much evidence you give, how many sources you cite, no matter how logically and convincingly you present your facts and point of view, it will fall on deaf ears. It's enough to drive a sane woman crazy, and I was never that sane to begin with. Sure, there are still times I feel the fight in me, and I'll engage someone. Always there reaches a point, unfortunately, where I choose not to continue. I grow tired of presenting the same (though relevant and well thought) arguments only to have them dismissed with the wave of a hand and no second thought or even and attempt to understand them. So now when I run across and argument pertaining to religion or the lack of religion, I spend a few weary seconds considering whether to involve myself, and about 90% of the time I choose instead to metaphorically walk away. Even when boredom strikes and I do choose to get involved, I do so more to take cheap shots and toy with the unsuspecting mouse I've caught in the trap of sophisticated debate. I rarely present real evidence or even a compelling point of view. Why bother? They're never going to change and my arguments have begun to bore even me.
The internet is responsible for the rise in atheism, this I do not doubt. We have far too much access to education to continue to buy the bologna the religious community is selling us. Far too many resources for meeting other atheists. We have a community, we can belong and not be ostracized. However, the same internet that sealed my fate by convincing me of that which I knew all along is also creating the apathy towards spreading logic and reality that has a firm hold on myself and many others like me. What started as the makings of generation of educated and convincing role models has devolved into a generation of trolls. Will the numbers of "nons" continue to rise, or are we doomed to help push society back into the dark ages with our apathy?
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